Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Signing Statements Humor

Mikaela guffaws:
Ooo, boy. Did I need a good laugh!

Thanks to Dan Froomkin for compiling comics (Steve Sack ; Signe Wilkinson ; Ted Rall ; Ben Sargent ; and Tom Toles) and actual editorial responses to the latest evidence of Bush's attack on the Constitution and our system of checks and balances. Oh, and the Declaration of "Independence."

The Battle Creek (Mich.) Enquirer : "We find Bush's proclivity for signing statements particularly ironic in light of his oft-declared disdain for 'activist judges' who he says go beyond their constitutional duties by reinterpreting laws written by Congress."

And the Berkshire (Mass.) Eagle :

"Like a kid who makes a deal and holds his fingers crossed behind his back to signify he doesn't really mean it, President Bush seems to believe that if he issues a statement upon signing a law then the law doesn't apply as it was written. . . .

"It may be that he only way for Congress to reassert its power is by playing the game the way the president does. From here on all bills heading to the president's desk should have be accompanied by a 'no backsies' amendment, which nullify all presidential 'crossies.' Or perhaps an even better check on the president would be a 'jinx, doublejinx' clause in which he can't speak until after he signs a bill. Let's just hope the president doesn't resort to cupping his ears, shutting his eyes and implementing the 'I can't hear you, I can't hear you, la-la-la-la' tactic."

And then the Onion just hit it out of the park. Dear lord, if I ever meet any of these writers, I will kiss them anywhere they want me to. I mean it.

Bush Grants Self Permission To Grant More Power To Self

August 1, 2006 | Issue 42•31

WASHINGTON, DC—In a decisive 1–0 decision Monday, President Bush voted to grant the president the constitutional power to grant himself additional powers.

"As president, I strongly believe that my first duty as president is to support and serve the president," Bush said during a televised address from the East Room of the White House shortly after signing his executive order. "I promise the American people that I will not abuse this new power, unless it becomes necessary to grant myself the power to do so at a later time."


"This is a clear case of President Bush having carte blanche to grant himself complete discretion to enact laws to increase his power," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "The only thing we can do now is withhold our ability to grant him more authority to grant himself more power."

"Unless he authorizes himself to strip us of that power," Reid added.