Maggie says:
Today sucks. For lots of small, annoying reasons that may or may not include paying both a mechanic and a locksmith, it's just been one of those days.
So thank goodness for this Washington Post article that despite my general sourness, managed to make me crack up laughing at least once on every page:
But Seriously, Folks
Heard the One About Kinky Freidman Running for Texas Governor?
Now if you've been out of the weird-politics loop, you have a lot of catching up to do on Kinky. Check out his campaign website here. (While you're there, you just might be tempted to contribute. As Kinky's great graphics suggest: "Contribute! Why the hell not?") You might also be charmed by the Kinky Talking Action Figure who suggests, among other things, "I can't screw things up any worse than they already have."
But don't let the self-deprecating cynicism fool you. Kinky's also one of the hardest-working campaigners out there, as the Post article documents and Newsweek confirms. And as the Post notes, the Texas race for governor is now "The Weirdest Race for Governor of All Time." Mostly because while still placing second in the polls behind "Governor Great Hair" Rick Perry, Kinky's presence in the race will undoubtedly affect its outcome. Not bad for someone who knows how to rhyme "Aristotle Onassis" with "ethnocentric racist."
Room for hope, if he's your style:
Kinky's campaign manager, Dean Barkley, the architect of Jesse Ventura's successful 1998 race for governor of Minnesota, is more optimistic. "If 40 percent of registered voters turn out," Barkley says, "Kinky will win."
Quotes to brighten your afternoon:
Kinky serious: "We can make Texas number one in renewable fuels -- which is a helluva lot better than being number one in executions, toll roads, property taxes and dropouts!"
Kinky so-true-it-hurts: Campaigning among Hispanics is especially great because "their food is better."
Kinky hilarious: "Houston Comets basketball -- it's not just for lesbians anymore!" And later... "If those [bleeps] don't see that as the perfect slogan for them, they're crazy."
Kinky tried-and-true (meaning he uses this one constantly): "I'm 61 years old, which is too young for Medicare but too old for women to care."
Whatever your politics, a man with one-liners this great on a day like today makes me want to go out for a beer despite myself. Or at least put "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore" on for a good listen.
Signing off the Kinky way: "May the God of your choice bless you, folks."
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