Maggie says:
This is what I get for not liking science enough. One day I'm tuning out all NASA-related news and trying to forget those horrible science fairs from grade school, and the next I'm left completely in the dark about what is apparently a widely held sexual fantasy!
According to MSNBC, Outer-space sex carries complications. Why is this a problem, you ask? Well for practical reasons, easy copulation would make it easier for humans to move to space, reproduce there, and take it over (which let's face it, is what we like to do). But more importantly, "having sex in the weightlessness of outer space is the stuff of urban legends and romantic fantasy," according to the article.
Really? So that's what all those lovable science nerds were so into their books for!NASA physician Jim Logan has lots to say about why outer-space sex would be, in his words, "a little underwhelming." The hilarious scientific reasons why include:
- Sex in space would likely be "hotter and wetter" than on Earth, Bonta said, because in zero-G there is no natural convection to carry away body heat. Also, scientists have found that people tend to perspire more in microgravity. The moisture associated with sexual congress could pool as floating droplets.
- The physics of zero-G make the mechanics of sex more complicated. Bonta said it was challenging even to kiss her husband during a zero-G simulation flight they took recently. "You actually have to struggle to connect and stay connected," she recalled. Partners would have to be anchored to the wall and/or to each other. To address that need, Bonta has come up with her own design for garments equipped with strategically placed Velcro strips and zippers.
- Although zero-G could be a boon for saggy body parts, Bonta said males might notice a "slight decrease" in penis size due to the lower blood pressure that humans experience in microgravity.
- Romantics will also need to guard against the type of motion sickness that space travelers often encounter, especially if they get too adventurous right off. "Save the acrobatics for post-play vs. foreplay," Bonta advised.
But Logan - a scientist after my own liberal-arts heart - sees room for hope:
"I can well imagine how compelling, inspiring, and quite frankly stimulating choreographed sex in zero-G might be in the hands of a skilled and talented cinematographer with appropriate lighting and music."
When the crowd tittered, Logan added, "I'm not kidding: Sex in zero-G is going to have to be more or less choreographed. Otherwise it's just going to be a wild flail."
In other words: Dream on, science nerds. The future is yours. And me? I'll stop ranking on science so much, I promise.
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