Somehow missed this in the Onion way back when...
Some Dork Brought in to Address Civics Class
According to Westwood High School sources, some dork from city hall or the mayor's office or something came in to address Richard Prugh's fifth- and seventh-hour civics classes Monday.
"Mr. Prugh told us some city-council guy was going to be coming in to talk to us about government-type garbage," junior Jon Kriesel said. "The guy was a complete and total dork. I knew it the minute I saw him."
"I thought for a second it might be cool, like maybe the city was going to build a mall, and he could tell us what stores would be in it," Tiffany Haus said. "But instead, he talked the whole time about a theater for plays and modern dance and stuff. Awesome. The only thing dorkier than theater is dance."
The dork had trouble controlling the class, and in true dweeb fashion, tried to reprimand the students with humor, saying, "Hey, guys, don't make me rezone that section non-residential."
The entire class reportedly stared at him blankly.