Friday, April 18, 2008

This Man IS Torture

Mikaela says:
Talk about a steady drip driving you mad...

Our drip of a President is the water torture that just won't end.

In his latest pontificating to the Pope (couldn't resist), he HAD to have been talking about himself, right???

Courtesy White House Watch, who got it from Dana Milbank:

This is Your President, both what he actually said (in red) and what he meant to say [but couldn't quite work up the moral courage]:

  • In a world where some [i.e. me] invoke the name of God to justify acts of terror and murder and hate, we need your message that God is love. [Except in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Guantanamo, or the extraordinary rendition countries that we let do our dirty work for us, or Israel, who like us can do whatever they want and claim the moral high ground, or -- coming soon -- Iran]
  • In a world where some [read: me] treat life as something to be debased and discarded, we need your message that all human life is sacred. . . . [Except minority prisoners, or people in Iraq, or people in New Orleans, or in countries whose need is more expensive than the good PR we'd get out of helping]
  • In a world where some [okay, okay, me again...] no longer believe that we can distinguish between simple right and wrong, we need your message to reject this dictatorship of relativism. . . . [For example, when I say we can torture but no one else can; we can have nuclear capabilities but no one else can; we can manipulate the capitalist market but no one else can; we can give government handouts to corporations but not to families; we can make sure government policies benefit the rich not the poor... I could go on, but I know your time is more precious than mine.]
  • In a world where some [this time, just my most intimate advisors -- the only people I let talk to me] see freedom as simply the right to do as they wish, we need your message that true liberty requires us to live our freedom not just for ourselves, but in a spirit of mutual support. [This would really help me to stop invading other countries for America's gain. The neocons are really putting the screws to me on this one.]

Holy cow. What a hypocritical idiot. I'm glad all those people are praying for him and his family. They need it.

I hope they're also praying for all of us who have to put up with this asshole, and those who will have to clean up his mess for generations to come.

Not that I'm bitter. It's just that I'm out of "other cheeks." I'd rather turn over a new leaf.