Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Onion's Political Dictionary

Mikaela says:
I really love smart humor that just ... gets it right in a way that all my doing jumping jacks in front of a blind man to get his attention just can't match.

So check out the full list here, but this is a taste of what you'll find:

  • corruption: The most effective and efficient way to produce results in government.

  • [American] democracy: A moderately representative plutocracy.

  • election worker: A male or female at least 70 years of age.

  • hope: An intangible object within every American that is destroyed every four years in November.

  • likability: The degree to which each candidate is able to hide the extent to which he or she is full of shit.

  • lobbyist: A better-paid legislator.

  • platform: A list of the subjects that candidates are willing to discuss.

  • political consultants: Individuals who are very savvy politically, but don't have enough hair to run for office themselves.

  • political philosophy, liberal: An ideology steeped in a proud tradition of ineffectual whining.

  • voter apathy: The reason most American politicians are able to achieve and maintain office.